problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
