I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
