Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
