Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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