He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
