also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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