he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize