i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
