plz talk dirty to me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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