bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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