whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
