are you still at the devil's house?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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