Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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