I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
