did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
