none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
