yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
