Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
