I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize