What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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