I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
