The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He kissed a someone with a penis
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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