he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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