She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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