why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
