I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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