Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
