She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
