I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
