Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
