weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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