mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
