I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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