Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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