Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
