I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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