Someone shit on the floor
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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