I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
