there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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