Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
