So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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