i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
