READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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