you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
