Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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