found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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