You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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