we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
