he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize