I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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