She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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