I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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