is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
