I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
