You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
