Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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