Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
