I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
