somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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