We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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