you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
